How to Become More Self-Aware

Self-awareness is a quality many of us lack. Especially today when due to an overabundance of shallow media, lack of connectivity and basically deteriorating societal values,  our moral compass can be a little flawed. In a world where you are bombarded by messages of who you should be, it is tricky to figure out who you are and be truly self-aware. You can listen to cliché phrases like “just relax and breathe” or “live, laugh, love” but even though helpful to a degree, they won’t make you realize who you really are and how you want to live your life. On the other hand, the following tips will help to boost your self-awareness and allow you to focus on things that truly matter. 

Be conscious of your flaws

Many people exhibit behavioral issues for one reason only: they are not aware of their flaws. Things that tend to be very annoying to others like interrupting, loud chewing, tapping your foot, can easily be controlled once you become aware of the fact that you do them. Other flaws like being too negative, criticizing constantly or getting angry when you don’t get what you want right away can not only make you poor company, but they can also lower your chances of success in life and mess with your overall wellness.

Make sure to observe your behavior and try to consciously work on fixing your flaws. If you’re unable to notice these things yourself, find a trusting friend or family member and ask them about your flaws (just don’t get angry when they bring them to light). It can also be helpful to think on things that were said to you in anger, especially if you have heard the same thing more than once. Often people are willing to say things to you when upset that they are too nice or polite to say when calm. While taking any insults with a grain of salt, often tidbits of truth will surface after awhile. 

None of this is to say that you should be a slave to what other people think of you. It’s important not to grade your idea of self worth on how popular you are. Not only is popularity subjective, but it’s also deceiving depending on your situation. One workplace may be full of people who love you, while the same job in a different office may be the opposite. Just be aware of the parts of you that you love, and be aware of the parts you think you can work on.

Embrace mindfulness as a lifestyle

In order to be gentle, patient and kind, you need to grow as a person through the process of self-discovery. One way to encourage your growth is to embrace mindful practices like meditation, yoga, healthy eating and spending quality time alone. These activities will greatly affect how you see yourself and others. Through a mindful lifestyle, you will get to practice self-control, which is something that will help you in every aspect of your life, from relationships to work and decision-making. 

Be curious in the bedroom

Healthy relationships require both partners to be self-aware, compassionate yet curious. Being aware of your patterns, triggers, strengths and weaknesses will set a healthy foundation for an intimate relationship. Never stop being curious about the things you feel, want to do and wish to change. Make sure to bring your curiosity and self-awareness to the bedroom, too. Try to explore your pleasures with your partner or alone, and don’t be shy to use adult toys. Different toys make different impressions and pleasures, so why not grab a cute vibrator and see how this new sensation makes you feel. Sex and masturbation are not just animalistic acts—they are a door to discovering your deepest desires, those for pleasure, comfort, power, connection, validation, growth and finally healing. Be adventurous in the bedroom any chance you get and you will realize a lot of things about yourself! 

Work on your appearance

Many people think that self-awareness and physical looks have nothing in common, but they are connected in various ways. What you see when you look in the mirror can hugely impact your confidence, your attitude and your presence. Working on your appearance is not vanity—it’s taking good care of your vessel and appreciating the opportunities to live and enjoy all the blessings of the world. If you want to fix your physical flaws, don’t be ashamed, but be honest and you will feel and look more confident. While physical appearance isn’t everything, it will help you in the dating world, especially online dating where one has no choice but to focus on the looks. 

Consider therapy

Once upon a time, seeing a therapist was something shameful. Luckily, those times are behind us, so if you feel like professional help is what you need, feel free to reach out and consult a therapist. These professionals are trained to help you on your journey of self-discovery, give you tools to access your traumas, assess them rationally and let them stay in the past while you focus on the future. Therapy should not be hidden under wraps. Instead, you should treat it as an investment in your future, because that’s what it essentially is. And if you happen to have a bad first experience with mental health pros, don’t worry. Finding the right person for you might take time, so try out different people and different therapy methods until you run into a therapist you’re comfortable with. 

Self-awareness can’t be forced or achieved lightly. It’s something you need to work on as you examine your life, and as you progress on your road to self-realization, you will see how much better you feel about yourself and the world around you. 


Peter Minkoff

Peter is a lifestyle writer living between Europe and Australia. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.

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